More Living-room Comedy

July 20, 2009

Dear Living room comedian guy,

If your laugh track didn’t cover up your punch line you might be funny.  But you would have to write a funny punch line as “oh no she didn’t” just doesn’t qualify as a funny punch line unless you are Dane Cook or someone.  Keep practicing.

PS did you belch on the way to the “stage?” And where is your curtain?

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Big Girls Don’t wear shit

December 11, 2008

Basement comedian “Big Mo” does some shitty stand up comedy in his basement.  Big mo posted this clip

on my myspace comments along with the message, “You don’t have the HEART to steal this.”

I stole it… to present it to you, the fine watchers of badbadcomedy.com

Lazy, bad, awful, are just a few words I use to describe Big Mo’s weak set in the basement comedy club.  Please, my fledgling comedians, go to an open mic to try your jokes out.  We can only call this a rant and not really stand up comedy.

I can hardly comment about the costume change into cross-dressing.  If big girls shouldn’t wear that shirt why should you?  He looks like a pregnant man with a puss filled pressurised zit baby.  I just want to pop his belly with a pin.

“You go girl with your self esteem.”

“Hit me up, big mo da comedian.”

Someone had to have dropped him on his head once or twice.


White Guy does White Dance

December 10, 2008

This guy comes out and shows us what its really like to be a white person and the lack of rhythym white guys posses.  Nice aggresive musical entrances will ALWAYS help your “skits” to get noticed.


Women VS Men – by D-Trane

December 2, 2008

Ah yes, my favorite kind of comedy, basement comedy.  No audience.  Just him and a camera.

This is D-Trane and this is is take on what men would do with a time machine and what women would do with that same time machine.  Brilliant.

Kids, if you really want to be a successful comedian, go to a comedy club, open mic night, or bar, poetry open mic night, it doesn’t matter.  Just gather some strangers to try your material out on.  D-Trane, grow a pair and leave the house.


We Love Eddie Pepitone but…

November 29, 2008

His attempt at a rap could have been a bit more well constructed.  I actually really like Eddie Pepitone.  I really like this concept as a joke, because I agree that rap is very confident and full of bravado.  Eddie addresses the insecure and depressed side of rap music, but it could have been a much better rap.  Give it another try Eddie.  I’m behind you all the way!


Rap – “Oh Pussy Fart”

November 28, 2008

This is a terrible rap that makes little sense about pussy farts?  I can’t tell if the guy is high or drunk or what, but a lot of it is incomprehensible.  I did a transcript as best I could for this one so you could follow along at home.  His name is Monte Hoffman and apparently he has done some TV.

“Sounds like one of those rap songs you young guys have, please stand up, please stand up.  Oh pussy fart.  Oh pussy fart. Well LL  Thursday, got nothing on me cuz I got that (inaudible) personality.  Him, hi, hippity, high, think I’ll go to the barber shop.  Walk in there, I sit on the chair. Barber (inaudible) aint got no hair. Said hmmm. That’s so cold, said hmmm.  God bless my soul.  Like to (inaudible) that salty strut.  Went to a place called supercut.  Said in the side, ready to buy, all look like my Michael Jackson. (horrible attempt at a crotch grab) Who loves you babe said hmm.  Who loves you babe.  Well I might be fat but I aint no chump.  People say I look like a big speed bump.  I said Tampon, Kotex, Stayfree mini pad. You go’n need protection from my erection cuz what I got aint bad.  So c’mon girls, get on those seats, open those legs let ya hear that quief, oh pussy fart.  A jofichzileels.

Its dirty, its inaudible, its rap.


A Bad White Rapper

November 24, 2008

This unknown comic raps about giving birth and the Doctors instructions, in rap.  He is almost as talented as Vanilla Ice.  If anyone knows this guys name please submit it.

“And I know, I know its only gonna be a couple of years until we actually start seeing rap music in hospitals.  I believe what we’re gonna see, ladies and gentlemen, is rap music … in the delivery room.”

This video has to be shot in the late 80’s or early 90’s so my question is…  why isn’t there rap music in the delivery room?  Could it be this guy was wrong???  I sure hope not.  So I’m going to need someone to submit a rap/birthing video.  I’m sure there is one out there somewhere.

PS. Why is the word rap one letter away from the word rape?