Rap – “Oh Pussy Fart”

November 28, 2008

This is a terrible rap that makes little sense about pussy farts?  I can’t tell if the guy is high or drunk or what, but a lot of it is incomprehensible.  I did a transcript as best I could for this one so you could follow along at home.  His name is Monte Hoffman and apparently he has done some TV.

“Sounds like one of those rap songs you young guys have, please stand up, please stand up.  Oh pussy fart.  Oh pussy fart. Well LL  Thursday, got nothing on me cuz I got that (inaudible) personality.  Him, hi, hippity, high, think I’ll go to the barber shop.  Walk in there, I sit on the chair. Barber (inaudible) aint got no hair. Said hmmm. That’s so cold, said hmmm.  God bless my soul.  Like to (inaudible) that salty strut.  Went to a place called supercut.  Said in the side, ready to buy, all look like my Michael Jackson. (horrible attempt at a crotch grab) Who loves you babe said hmm.  Who loves you babe.  Well I might be fat but I aint no chump.  People say I look like a big speed bump.  I said Tampon, Kotex, Stayfree mini pad. You go’n need protection from my erection cuz what I got aint bad.  So c’mon girls, get on those seats, open those legs let ya hear that quief, oh pussy fart.  A jofichzileels.

Its dirty, its inaudible, its rap.

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A Bad White Rapper

November 24, 2008

This unknown comic raps about giving birth and the Doctors instructions, in rap.  He is almost as talented as Vanilla Ice.  If anyone knows this guys name please submit it.

“And I know, I know its only gonna be a couple of years until we actually start seeing rap music in hospitals.  I believe what we’re gonna see, ladies and gentlemen, is rap music … in the delivery room.”

This video has to be shot in the late 80’s or early 90’s so my question is…  why isn’t there rap music in the delivery room?  Could it be this guy was wrong???  I sure hope not.  So I’m going to need someone to submit a rap/birthing video.  I’m sure there is one out there somewhere.

PS. Why is the word rap one letter away from the word rape?