Sometimes you find a golden gem. I need a word for the best of the worst. I think I’ll call it the bad bad super gem, and yes, this is a bad bad super gem! So much is wrong about this guy. My favorite is his description of his video on youtube.
“Listen up Fuckstains, comedian Cracka Don® is gonna have you rollin and not just joints. Call your nearest comedy club and demand Cracka Don. You’ve seen Chappelle and Mencia, now I’ll give you the white version of those shows. I need investors for starters for my Cracka Don® tee-shirt clothing line with my funny-ass sayings on it, I have shirts like- Same shit-Different wipe, If it aint 1 thing it’s your mother. I’ve got tons of them which will sell right now, I come up with new material daily. I’ve got ideas for movies, t.v, I got a show thats a cross between Married with Children wit the Soprano’s. Reality shows like A Taste of L.A
Donate your car to me so I can get to the comedy clubs, I’m broke.
“And ladies remember we could be friends tonight… but at the Cracka Don I’m comin for that ass!” Copyright 2008″
First of all this guy is a nobody and he has everything trademarked and copyrighted. Second he firmly believes after NO experience of stand up he is going to make it big with a TV show and some shirts.
He bills himself as a cross between Chappelle and Mencia. Hey cracka don, have you any idea what a hack and joke thief Mencia is? He is a perfect person to model yourself after.
I LOVE that he is looking for “investors.” Like I’m sure comics who have been on the road for decades wouldn’t want someone to invest in their ideas.
“Donate your car to me…” Insert your own joke.
Guess what Cracka. There is already a shirt like that… and here it is.
I’ve never encountered someone so angry about a TV logo either. What a great character for a comedian. An angry guy. That has never been done before.
Some of my favorite Cracka Don quotes of this set…
Audience, how much a month would you pay for this service?
What are you screaming about jerk-offs, this aint the price is right! Shut the fuck up!!!
I’ll do anything but I wont suck your dick! (pause pause pause)
I got locked up for a small minor infraction.
What is she a lapso apso?
I LOVE the fact that he addresses imaginary hecklers. Brilliant. The ONLY way it could have been better is if he planted one guy in his basement to heckle him.
He falls into SO many bad comedy categories. Bad impressions (Al Sharpton), Daytime Comedy, hack, just plain bad, lazy comedy, over the top, Curtain in the basement instead of a comedy club, and I think I need to make a new category for Aggressive Marketing. And of course, he is a BAD BAD SUPER GEM!!!
Thank you Don, or should I call you Mr. Cracka?
PS He has about 10 videos up so it might just be Cracka Don week here.
PPS Don’t go stealin Mr. Cracka’s ideas now. They be copyrighted!
PPPS I say this is Matt Serra from the UFC looking for a career change.